Abnormalities
by Conflicting.Opposite.Minds
Summary: Ch. 4 Iruka Hinata friendship, because every stalker wants a partner.
1. Fangirl and Waterboy

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I would not be on Fanfiction. **

**Hiya peoples! So um... read my story and comment please! This is the first of hopefully many mismatched stories. I love cracky fiction, so reader, read on!!!!!1 But it's a one-shot unless you likey, but I wont know unless you comment, now will I?**

**Hello and welcome. Please keep all limbs and/or appendages inside the boat at all times. Enjoy the ride. ;]**

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**Temari and Suigetsui **

[_Fangirl and Waterboy_]

Blondie was worse than Red. _Worse. _Seriously. How was then even_ possible_? All she did was bitch and moan – and not in the good way – all day and night. Bitch's cuttin' in to my beauty sleep. But worst of all, the thing that just annoyed the living hell out of me, it was about nothing. 'Pick up thins.' and 'throw away that.' and my personal favorite 'get your ass out here – did _you_ do that? That is not ware your underwear go! I am not your mom!' Duh bitch. I never fucked my mom, now did I?

"Suigetsui! Get. In. Here. Now." aw, shit. "NOW!" ugh. I still hear her voice ringing in my head. I hate her – and may I saw masculine – voice. If I hadn't experienced ti first hand, I would not believe she was a women. "Suigetsui!" ugh. I trudged out of my – our – her voice corrected living room and into the bathroom, towards my unavoidable doom. Heh, sing the doom song. I peered through the door. "What the fuck bitch? You know those things coming out of your torso? Their legs, use 'em." She glared at me, hands on hips. Oh no. I'm going to miss the light. "There are no bitches here fuckface. Now tell me, what is that?"

"Are you stupid? Its a shower." She huffed. "I know what it is –"

" – then why ask?" She grit her teeth. I hate to say it but its really hot when she's pissed. "I know what it is, what is in it?" I peered over her shoulder and into the stall, it was covered in blood. It looked like someone was murdered in it, and guess what? Someone was. "Blood, you that dumb Blondie?" I could literally hear the snap, oh there was a disturbance in the force. "How many times do I have to tell you DO NOT CALL ME BLONDIE." shit, she blew a fuckin' ear drum. "Volume control, ever herd of it?" If I'm gonna die, may as well have fun, right? "Shut, the hell up!" She shoved a rag into my hand. "Clean it up!" she ordered. "That's woman's work. What are you pmsing?" and that was the last thing I said before she knocked me out. I'll take that as a maybe.

Fifteen minutes later I woke up from my brief bout of unconsciousness. Whatever, it doesn't make me less of a man. But, I think I'll clean the shower. "Are you up yet you sissy?"

"More question? Well," I said pointing to the rag "this is a rag," I pointed to myself. "An this is –"

"A soon to be castrated man?"

"Bitch."

"Pussy." I sighed. "Well, I'm out," she leaned against the wall "So am I." I grinned. 'Wanna fuck?" she smiled. "Clean out the shower." Score. She pretty hot when she's smiling, it's such a rare thing. I finished up the shower, and threw the rag in the sink. "Finished."

"Did you use bleach?" she yelled. "What the fuck do you think I am? A maid? Do it yourself."

"_I _didn't do it!" she screeched. "I shouldn't have to!"

"Heh. At least I moved the body." Then she came a stompin' in. "Yeah, this _time_!"

"Eh. Live and learn." She glared. "Whatever, I don't care, now get out." Didn't need to tell me twice. I walked back into the living room, and switched on the T.V. Finally some peace and quiet. "SUIGETSUI!" Shit. I forgot. I put the body into the towel closet.

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**Hope you enjoyed!**


	2. Angel face and Weasel

**(A/N:) Hello my kiddies! please comment! Enjoy!**

**To out left we have an arrogant Uchiha and a strong women.**

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Tenten and Itachi **

_[Angel Face and Weasel]_

I sighed. I was so _not_ in the mood for this. The weather forecast? Dreary. Red clouds in a black sky. I mean lovely right? "An omen? Should we seek shelter?" Neji asked seriously. "Nah." I said casually. "We can out run it." Lee shook his head disapprovingly. " Is it not that a red morning mean warning? I do not think it is wise to continue." Neji Hned. His version of an agreement. "What don't you think we're fast enough?" Admittedly it was a low blow to Lee, he couldn't resist a challenge. "Of course we can!" Lee predictably jumped at the chance to prove himself. Neji sighed out voted. "Hurry up. I'd rather not get killed." Neji said melodramatically. I almost miss Mr. Fate. _Almost. _This Neji was slightly less constipated.

=)

I didn't want to admit it, but I was lost. The wind whipped my face, and razor sharp leaves cut my face. Talk about a double whammy. Well this frickin' great. I couldn't see five feet in-front of me, and I'd lost track of Neji and Lee hours ago. Well _this_ royally sucked. Oh well, we'll be fine, Ten, Put on your fierce face! We can do this! And by we I mean me and . . . well m – At that thought I lost my footing and plummeted to the ground. It was fun. The earth met my body with a loud crash. Oh it felt so good. (Sarcasm. One of my many talents.) But I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure I was fine. So I tried to get up. Big mistake. Bright side? I think my scream broke the sound barrier. Down side? I think every one within a twenty mine radius herd me. It was still echoing. I finally looked at my body barley lifting my head up, everything hurt, but my arm and leg were throbbing. Oh god, they were not supposed to bend at that angle. I tried to move again, but I braced my self for the pain, it worked, well, somewhat , I didn't scream that_ loud. _Rain pounded my face. It was really cold out, but I couldn't feel it. Oh well, hypothermia sounds like an interesting experience.

=)

OK, so I was getting a little annoyed. I know I should be happy I'm still alive, but waiting to die is boring. Somehow despite certain laws set down by out forefathers, not only was my body numb, tingly, and sore, but I felt like I was being tickled. This was just so not right. My vision was blurry around the edges, and my mind was fuzzy. Icky. I was getting pretty tired too. Don't sleep. . . don't!. . . come on! Ware is your fierce face? I struggled to keep myself awake, at least it was something to _do_. Sadly I knew it was futile. This was going to be the last battle I'd lose. Oh I was going to die. My eye lids grew heavier. The last thing I saw was that ugly black sky and red clouds, before it all went black.

=)

When I woke up, I was warm all over. So either I was dead – and because I was warm I was worried about which place I ended up – or someone had found me. I figure because I her no evil cackling or was blinded by white light it was the latter. I could faintly hear discussion, from somewhere. I opened my eyes and saw I was on a bed in a peach colored room, and on a hook hung a. . . Akatsuki cloak? . . . in a peach colored room . . . well this is a little emotionally scaring. Anyhow, I could hear conversation in the next room. " . . . kill her." a pause. " . . . means nothing Kisame." this would be so much easier if they'd only stop mumbling! "We need more . . ." a grunt. "I just got some. . ." another pause. "Fine." I herd the door shut softly, and suddenly the door to my room opened. I pretended to sleep quickly. The man didn't say anything at first. It was a good three minutes before: "I know you're awake." I sighed cover blown -- this was so not my day -- and looked at the man. I'd never seen him before, but I knew he must be Sasuke's brother, because they looked so much alike, and all he ever talked about was, avenge this, avenge that. He would avenge anything, that boy. "So are you going to kill me?" the man seemed to think this over. "Not yet."

"Lovely." He raised an eyebrow. "So what do you want?" I asked as I took the opportunity to examine my body. It would appeared I was healed. "Why did you heal me?" no response. So I let my mind wander. I wonder ware Neji and lee are, are they OK? Maybe they stopped at the nasty inn. It's nothing like the last one, the one with the muffins. God they were delicious. I want one right now – "What are you thinking?" he asked suddenly. "er, um. . . muffins?"

". . . muffins?"

". . .Yeah. . ." he hmed. He's really quite talkative. "What your name?" he asked. I pondered this for a moment. Eff– what could it hurt? "Tenten."

"Angel – Angel?"

"Nope. Ten out of Ten, cause I never miss." I boasted. "Neither do I."


	3. Red and Black

**(A/N:) Hello kiddies! This is my newest and shortest. . . thingy. . . enjoy**

**To your right you with see two antsy youths in pain**.

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Karin and Neji**

_[Red and Black]_

He wasn't her first choice, because he wasn't _him _but he was good enough.

They were so much alike, it scared her, but that was why she liked him. He was quiet, and almost vacant of any emotion – other than bitterness. He had a Kekkei Genkai – an eye blood line limit, no less – he was not only an out cast in his family, he had unrecognized potential, and he hated everyone of them, particularly his "siblings" who were a thorn in his side. Better yet he was attractive, and a genius, and had an unimaginable charka supply, not to mention the perpetual stick shoved up his ass. He admired her sensing skills and wasn't above using them to his advantage. Yes they were so alike, and she adored that in him, because they were so close, but there differences, that should have caused her great happiness, disgusted her, and were like a knife being twisted in her gut.

He may have be quiet and almost emotionless, but every now and then he sparred her a gentle word or touch. It made her sick. He even said I love you once. She clenched her gut, and when he saw the pain flicker on her face he dropped it and never said it again, but she'd caught him many a time looking at her adoringly. what? nothing.

He didn't have to tell her how much he loved her, she could tell, and it made her gag. He spent any time he could with her, listened intently to every word she said, hanging on the every last word. He was gentle with her and her emotions, he treated her like a porcelain doll, and discouraged missions, unless he was there to protect her. She could feel that knife twisting. He complimented her occasionally, once he told her he thought she had beautiful eyes. i hate them, and i hate yours.

When he asked her to live with him, she almost broke into two. but then you'd have to be with me every day. i know. She knelt to ground crying out in pain. i hate you. why couldn't you be him? i don't know. He walked away in his own pain.

Neji was not Karin's first choice, he was not Sasuke, but he good enough.

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**(A/N:) How do you like it? I wrote in euro during a Hitler video. I like! so um.... comment pwease? I give you imaginary cookie!**


	4. Stalker and Teacher

**(A/N:) Hello! Hello! I know It's been awhile. . . Anyhoo, please enjoy and comment!**

**Up above we have two rather fluffy individual stalking someone!  
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**Iruka and Hinata**

_[Stalker and Teacher]_

Just like the gentleman he was Iruka spread out the checkers picnic blanket and helped the Hyuga princess down.

"Thank you, Sensei." Iruka smiled pulling out napkins from his basket. "I'm not your Sensei anymore Hinata."

"How do you think he'll do today, Sensei?" Iruka sighed.

"I'm not sure." He finally said.

"But he's so much stronger Sensei!" Iruka stared at Hinata for her sudden outburst.

"I know your right. I'm sure he'll do better this time around. We just have to believe in him."

Hinata's face turned scarlet. "I know." she said fiercely. "I do."

Iruka nodded approvingly, then pointed to Hinata's basket. "May I?"

"Of course." she said pushing her basket to him.

Iruka reached in a pulled out, zenzai, cinnamon rolls, and precooked ramen.

"These look delicious, Hinata." The lavander eyed girl, just have recovered from a bout of blushing, flushed once again.

"Thank you Sensei."

Both heads snapped up at the sound of clashing metal.

"So," Hinata began. "He's been passed up again?"

Iruka noticeably paled.

"Yeah." He said softly. "They still don't think he's ready."

"But he's so strong." Hinata said looking down. "I don't understand. . ."

Iruka put his hand on her shoulder.

"Like I said, we just have to believe in him. He'll get there."

Hinata looked up at her Sensei and smiled.

"Baka!" Cursed the orange ninja.

"Do you ever thing that he'll figure out we're watching him?" Hinata asked.

"Nope."


End file.
